Monday, June 13, 2016

Building Relationships Knowing Intent

Have you ever found it difficult to get along with someone?  Have you ever found yourself in an uncomfortable situation when you received a certain e-mail from a student, a phone call or message from a parent, or part of a group which couldn't make progress on a project?

The echo of today comes from a book source entitled, Dealing with People you Can't Stand:  How to Bring Out the Best in People at their Worst, by Doctors Rick Brinkman and Rick Kirshner (@DrKND).  As a teacher, I sought out this book to help me with ideas on how to build relationships with hard to reach students and parents.  As an educational leader it could help "bring out the best" of staff, faculty, and other stakeholders.  We all know that success of students comes with the positive relationships and support of all stakeholders.

One message presented by Doctors Rick and Rick is to understand the intent of the person "at their worst".  You may have noticed that what was successful with one student or parent in building relationships does not work the same with the next.  The intent of these individuals may be different where one is focused on a task and the other on something personal.  Another difference is that one person may be passive and another more aggressive.  

I think of the characters in Charlie Brown when understanding how to look at intent when building relationships.  Old Chuck learned he had to deal with Patty, Lucy, Linus, and Schroeder all in a different way depending on their respective intent when found in a difficult situation.

The picture shows my #Sketchnote on lessons learned from the book.  A few take aways that I continually work on in building relationships is to remind all involved that we are working on the same side, show appreciation, bring people out of hiding to confront the conflict, not to get defensive, and move from fault finding to problem solving.

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